Guide Camp (or how to get rid of your captain)

Note: I wrote the original version of this poem when I was 13. I wrote for my Queen's Guide presentation evening. I have changed it around and hope it's better.

Once I went to Guide camp,

Oh! It was a shambles!

I hit my finger with a mallet,

And ripped my dress on brambles!

We tried to put our tents up,

But broke all the pegs.

Then we threw away our mallets - 

They hit our Captain's legs

We put up the fire screen,

But, alas, it got burned down!

Captain wasn't happy,

Her face was just a frown!

At last! It was lunch time -

A wasp was pestering me,

I swatted it with my dinner plate - 

It landed in Captain's tea!

After lunch, that afternoon,

There was a welly throwing comp.

I threw the Captain's welly

And it landed in a swamp!

Captain tried to retrieve it,

Out of the mud and muck - 

But she leaned too far over,

And in it, she was stuck!

We threw top her a big long rope,

She tied it round her belly!

We pulled and pulled - 

She came out

And so did her welly!

Later on we built rope bridges!

Mine was very long!

But when Captain tested it -

She found it not too strong!

By six o'clock our tents were up,

The pegs had arrived that day!

We thought it strange, while pitching them,

Captain stayed away!

That night we had a campfire sing son,

The flames were growing higher!

We really hadn't intended

To start a forest fire!

We called the local fire brigade;

With hoses they did come!

But by the time they had arrived

The damage had been done!

The fire had spread to the campsite,

All the tents burned to the ground!

We were so shocked and frightened

We didn't make a sound!

We had to go back home that night - 

We had nowhere else to go!

Ours spirits had been dampened, 

We were feeling very low!

It affected our poor Captain

More than we can say!

'Cause when we went to Guides again

She had moved away!

There is a tiny rumour,

That she may be in your town!

So if you join a unit

Never make your Captain frown!

She's there because she wants to make

You happy and well adjusted!

Just behave and be very keen

So that you can always be trusted!

© Carolyn Davison

from my book Larger Than Life on Rollerskates (ISBN:978-0-9561573-0-0)

NB the events in this poem are entirely ficticious!